McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is the author of the satirical essay collection This Won’t Help, listed on the New Yorker’s “Best Books We Read This Week.” He writes the humor newsletter Here’s Something.
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September 7, 2023For Just Forty Hours a Week of Intense Work Outside Your Full-Time Job, You Too Can Make Passive Income
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June 9, 2023HELP PROVE I’M INNOCENT BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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April 3, 2023Oh, Great, Now Every Politician Has to Be Super Careful Not to Commit Crimes
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March 1, 2023How Can We Afford to Bail Out Student Loan Borrowers When We Can Barely Afford to Bail Out the Entire Airline Industry, Citigroup, Bank of America, AIG, Bear Stearns, Chrysler, and Then the Entire Airline Industry Again?
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January 4, 2023Congratulations on Making It to 2023, the Final Year
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December 15, 2022I Believe in Free Speech, So Long as I Get to Change What Free Speech Means to Whatever I Want
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November 11, 2022Introducing Mr. Musk’s Cure-All Company Elixir
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October 27, 2022I Don’t Want Government Involved in Decisions About Abortion. Instead, I Want Government Involved in Decisions About Abortion
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September 27, 2022The White House’s Plan to Cancel Student Loan Debt Will Cost—Who Cares? Money Is Made Up and We Spend Twice That Much on the Military Every Year
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August 31, 2022Now That I Am Rich, I Won’t Shut the Fuck Up
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July 28, 2022I’m the Average Driver on the Road Right Now, and I’m Out of My Fucking Mind
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July 7, 2022Wait, You Can Just Make Your Leader “Step Down”?
Trending 🔥
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April 25, 2025This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person
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May 8, 2025An Open Letter to Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Who Thinks My Daughter Is a Tragedy
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May 5, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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May 6, 2025Introducing Our University’s New, Totally Reasonable Criteria for Promotion and Tenure