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All posts tagged
autumn
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November 13, 2024Rules for Our Cranberry Bog
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October 11, 2024Brutally Honest Instructions for Visiting a Pumpkin Patch
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September 26, 2024Frequently Asked Questions About Leaf Blowers
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 25, 2023I Love When the Leaves Turn Beautiful Colors and Fall to Their Deaths
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October 24, 2023For Your Crimes, You Have Been Sentenced to Unpaid Labor at a Pumpkin Patch
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September 25, 2023What I’ll Do with the One Week I Can Wear My Sensible Fall Jacket
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September 23, 2022On the Eighth Day, Leon Leonwood Bean Said, “Let There Be Flannel Shirts”
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August 30, 2022I’ll Drink this Pumpkin Spice Latte Before Labor Day, But Only Because Demons Are Making Me
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November 24, 2020How to Make a Cornucopia, Because It’s Come to This
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May 19, 2025A Company Reminder for Everyone to Talk Nicely About the Giant Plagiarism Machine
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June 3, 2025New York Times’ Style Guide Substitutions for “The President Violated the Constitution”
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June 6, 2025I, Saruman, Have Ended My Alliance with the Dark Lord Sauron
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May 8, 2025An Open Letter to Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Who Thinks My Daughter Is a Tragedy
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June 10, 2025Memo from the DHS: Deploy Megatron Before the LA Protesters Start Thinking They Have Rights
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June 10, 2025My Season Pass to Burnout Land
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June 10, 2025If Charles Bukowski Wrote a Children’s Book About Emotional Regulation
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June 9, 2025It’s Not Going Great, but Imagine How Much Worse Things Would Be with a Woman President